I am so disappointed with myself. Yet again, despite constant promises to myself to improve, I have succumbed to such pathetic immaturity, without even a decent sense of situational awareness; a few foolish acts in the past week have reduced me to disgrace. I am sorry to those whom because of my immaturity i have offended; and i must thank those who listened to me and helped cheer me up. Yes, i do have strengths Jem, but nonetheless i expect much more of myself; I really must do something to change my selfish self. Convincing myself of my strengths will not absolve me of any culpability; yet still you may have a point. We shall look to the future.
Two more days to my national tennis match. Against the first seed. Am i going to repeat the mistakes of the past in the match? Am i going to be defeated by myself, or crush under pressure? Or am i going to play my best, and show others that the money used to pay training isn't wasted? Well, the match has not started; hope that some good on thursday may help nullify my disappointment still remains. For how long will it last?
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