Obfuscation

"For you will still be here tomorrow; but your dreams may not."

From the depths of docility to the harsh environment, I have reassessed myself. Am I as good as I have conceived myself to be? Do I even have the capacity to do whatever i want done? Are my ambitions so over-stretched that I would need to be put in proper perspective?

Suddenly achievable goals turned into seemingly unrealistic dreams; I am so confused. My coach always says, " change yourself. Do not change the goal - don't lower your standards." But how is it that I, baseless without achievement, so unsure about my own credentials, frivolously expect so much of myself? Won't it only cause more despair; more disappointment, when, as always, expectations are not met? Am i even deserving of such DREAMS? Obfuscation sets in.

Maybe I am not working hard enough, not putting the effort necessary for me to make the cut. Then, should credulity take over, or should i push myself along the path i have always wanted for myself? Am I supposed to give up my dreams, and at the same time cause disappointment to all those who have hoped in me, spent so much effort for my sake? Will mediocrity justify the sense of guilt felt then?

More obfuscation. God, please give me your grace, give me what's best; for I do not want to forsake my dreams. Because they are not dreams; they are my future.